Two words: fuck it.
Case in point: The other night I decided that I might do some high kicks and try to touch the archway separating the living and dining room with my foot. In my socks. Standing on a hardwood floor. While holding my third Bloody Mary. I managed to call myself a dumb shit before I hit the floor. I also managed to forget the whole thing by the next day when I put the full weight of my left side on my bruised elbow. But my toes almost made it. And you can barely see the bruise.
Ok, that isn’t the most slellar example of what I’m getting at. There are other things, better things, secret things happening to me, but none of these involve me getting hurt, so the entertainment value just plummets. They do involve my acting foolishly, illogically, and honestly, after sending my cynicism and expectations on a Sandals vacation together. Who knew they’d get along so well…I haven’t received so much as a text. Poof. Gone. Like Magic.
My job had to get the boot, too. Like that one drunken friend who overstays his welcome at your house party, I had to call a cab and send him on his way. Ok, so I pawned him off on someone else, but I wasn’t about to drive him home. He’s a sloppy mess and I hate his laugh. And he left the bathroom a ruin.
So I guess my rocket-ride has arisen from a lesson in entertaining company and gracefully bowing out when the time comes. A true hostess knows when and how to end an engagement. She simply says, “Fuck it”. And then she finds some new company, some fresh faces. “Oh I just met this darling couple from New York”, or “Yes, there’s a man from Kentucky who’ll be calling soon”, or “Oh yes, I’m meeting someone just in from Michigan”. Those old party ghosts are replaced with real people, with verve for God’s sake.
I’m not going to worry about what doesn’t work right now, and I’m not going to keep turning around to make sure every step makes sense. I’m going to show everyone the door. Then I’m going to give away all of the bullshit I don’t need. Then I’m going to gather what I can carry and keep going. And my toes are going to hit that mother-fucking archway.