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19 December 2009

Aughts in Review

I didn't get around to finishing up my year's best in many categories (perhaps that's still to come), but I did take some time to look back over the last decade and take stock of my peaks and valleys, monumental accomplishments and crushing defeats, and so on and on. I can't say that all of the following are astonishing, but they are the first things that came to mind!

In the first decade of the new millennium I...

...received two college degrees (BA Oberlin College, MFA California Institute of the Arts)
...saw Dolly Parton in concert twice
...lived in both Moscow and London
...directed a feature length documentary
...made 2 films that screened at the Museum of Modern Art
...went through 6 pairs of glasses
...attended my 10 year high school reunion
...celebrated the 10 year anniversary of my relationship with Seth
...adopted a dog that I love like a child
...attended my first wedding (in Kansas...Mrs Aubrey Urban)
...attended two funerals
...gained 45lbs
...worked as a porn store clerk (and frequent jizz janitor), a pet store clerk (cleaning doggie doo out of cages), a library aide at three different libraries (this job, oddly enough, once ALSO required me to revisit my days as jizz mop), a Strand Bookstore employee, a travel agent, a costumer (a very poor Taylor indeed), a teacher, an assistant editor, a producer, and a senior producer (my current gig).
...went to concerts: Dolly (as previously mentioned), The National, Blind Pilot, Rural Alberta Advantage, Rufus Wainwright, Ben Folds, Cat Power, The Magnetic Fields, um...ahem...Ani DiFranco, Glastonbury, Radiohead, REM, Flaming Lips, Gogol Bordello, Liz Phair (to see the entirety of Exile in Guyville, thank you very much), Fiery Furnaces, Rilo Kiley, and others that my feeble mind cannot recall.
...lived in 14 different apartments
...got drunk with my dad for the first time ever
...bought my first brand new car
...got my first tattoo
...spent my first Christmas alone
...ate Indian food, Thai food, sushi for the first time
...met the first person I knew who was HIV positive
...survived one fabulous and wonderful year on basically no money in New York City
...made love under the stars in a hot spring in the mountains
...lived with two deaf people, a 45 year old handyman, an Uruguayan exchange student, a bona fide kleptomaniac, a nudist with a gigantic dong, my boyfriend, my best friend, a geeky mountain dew can hoarder, a girl who sucked on cheddar cheese, a paranoid white rapper and his "artist" girlfriend, a hippie vegan, a girl who owned a cat that was as old as Maggie Smith, a Netherlander, a skinny homo, a hipster, and a cable guy with an eye patch.
...lost/won ZERO money over the course of 5 trips to Las Vegas
...returned to Montana 5 times
...talked face to face with the man who murdered my brother
...interviewed a polygamist woman for a movie I will someday make
...conceived of 5 feature length screenplays, and wrote one
...swam in the Atlantic and Pacific oceans for the first time ever
...performed, in drag, to a few small audiences in New York
...biked an island in Ireland with Seth
...stood on the shores of the three of the Great Lakes
...went to Canada for the first time
...got my own website (alas, I am awful at updating it)
...met Seth's MANY aunts and uncles, survived reunion unscathed and glowing
...bought first Christmas tree with Seth
...read many lovely pieces of literature including, but certainly not limited to: Lolita, The Sound and the Fury, The Wapshot Chronicle, Mrs. Dalloway, The Master and Margarita, the complete dramatic works of Anton Chekhov, Twelfth Night, Hard Times, and others.
...broke up (sort of) and reunited with Seth
...went on my first cruise
...almost walked into a drive-by shooting
...caused a bar fight
...got kicked out of 2 bars (just two in one whole decade!)
...directed 2 plays
...did not get a single traffic ticket, but bunches of parking tickets
...experimented with _______ (fill in the blank)
...got my first job that paid a salary
...voted in my first election (and subsequently watched my candidate lose to a sub-mental ape)
...became an uncle
...walked my first red carpet (of many, cross fingers)
...rode in an elevator with Gus Van Sant, Amy Adams, and Drew Berrymore (not all at the same time)
...learned that shoulder-length hair made me look like Jodie Foster and that bright orange hair made me unpopular in Ireland
...made life-long friends in multiple cities
...saved the day once or twice
...was happy more than I was sad

There is still a week and a half left, I might remember a few more things.